A woman on Mumsnet said her boyfriend requested some very specific (and expensive) birthday gifts, and even gave her a minimum budget. Is this weird?
By Jamie Lee
Sep. 19 2023, Published 2:03 p.m. ET
Source: Getty Images; Mumsnet
When it comes to gifts, folks often say it’s the thought that counts — but what if your significant other doesn’t live by that phrase?
For one woman on Mumsnet, not only does her boyfriend disregard that old adage — but he also set a minimum budget for her when buying his birthday gift.
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Wait, there’s more: Months earlier, he’d cheaped out on a gift for her. Now he’s asking that she order specific pricy items at a specific time — despite knowing she’s a bit strapped for cash at the moment.
Let’s dive into this one…
Source: Getty Images
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This man asked his girlfriend to spend a minimum of $200 on his birthday gift.
In a post on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” subforum on Mumsnet, a woman wanted to know whether she was unreasonable for being frustrated with her boyfriend’s birthday demands.
The woman said that she and her boyfriend have been together for about a year, and that they recently went on vacation together. While they were away, her boyfriend told her to wait until they were back home before buying him a birthday gift.
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… Which is already a little weird, until you learn that he told her this more than once. And that he didn’t take into account that his birthday was very soon after their arrival home, which gave her no time to order his gifts. And that he wanted some very specific and expensive items.
Oh, and he’d also cheaped out on his own gift for her just a few months earlier when it was her birthday. Did we forget to mention that he likes to make fun of how she’s short on cash, too?
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This one’s a doozy.
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Source: Mumsnet
Let’s let the woman tell the story in her own words…
“My boyfriend and I are together a year next month so this year was our first Valentine’s and birthdays,” she began her post. “We returned from holiday early last week and his birthday was last Sunday. Prior to the holiday, he told me to save my money and wait until we were home and settled before buying any presents. Now I know I didn’t mishear him because he said it more than once.”
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“He said that he expects me to spend a minimum of £200 on him because that was his budget and specifically requested an outdoor pop-up tent and JBL speaker equating to the budget,” she continued. “Based on boyfriend’s advice, this would mean anything I order wouldn’t arrive on time for the Sunday.”
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“I literally started a new job where I am paid monthly and after the holiday and paying other bills, I have £30 to do me until payday and my boyfriend is completely aware of this,” she wrote. “Sunday came and he was incredibly disappointed there were no gifts (I did bring him to the beach and paid for dinner).”
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“I would never expect him to take care of me financially but despite knowing how strapped I am until payday, he hasn’t offered to pay for anything and instead keeps making jokes about how poor I am,” she went on. “He even tried to give me £5 as a joke so I couldn’t say he ‘wasn’t a good boyfriend who didn’t get me anything’…”
Source: Getty Images
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“Here’s my issue,” she explained (only one issue, singular? Sorry). “My birthday was in June and without sounding materialistic I was incredibly disappointed with my presents and know my boyfriend completely cheaped out yet set a minimum budget for his presents.”
“He bought me a pair of Crocs (in the wrong size), Yankee Candles (Christmas scents), and a reed diffuser,” she wrote. “On top of this, we went for a meal tasting (8 courses) that was £80 per person (in total £160) and my boyfriend is including the total £160 toward the money he spent on me. Now, when I take anyone out for dinner, I only factor in their portion towards total cost and completely ignore my own because that’s money I spent on myself and not them. Isn’t this normal?”
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“Before anyone presumes I went googling the prices … My boyfriend left the delivery slips in the bags (presents weren’t wrapped and they were handed to me in packaging they arrived in) and a lot of the items were heavily discounted compared to their normal retail price,” she noted. “I know it’s not what a person spends but the thought that counts, but when I tally what my boyfriend spent it was roughly £130!”
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Commenters had a few ideas for this woman…
“[Get him a] second-hand tent and he can go live in it,” one person wrote before noting that OP should leave this guy.
“Anyone who told me what they expected me to spend on them would soon be an ex,” another commenter said.
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“Please raise your standards,” said another. “This joke of an idiot is not worth your time.”
“Any man who buys his parter a Yankee candle and reed diffuser is not a keeper,” one commenter noted.
“He has the hallmarks of a financial abuser, entitled to your money and gaslighting you about his,” someone else wrote. “Are you too afraid to see him for what he is? Throwing money at the problem won’t cure it. Dumping him will.
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A couple of commenters felt the blame lied on both sides, or didn’t think this had to be the end of their relationship.
“I think you both need to grow up,” wrote one person, seemingly not impressed with either the woman or her BF.
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Another wrote: “If you are determined to stay with him, here is some great advice from the relationships crew here on [Mumsnet]. Earlyish on in a relationship — this still counts for your, OP — say NO to him. Don’t explain, etc., but assert yourself and say no. You could say ‘NO I won’t be doing that’ re his present demands, or ‘No I won’t be spending that much.’ See how he responds. It will tell you a lot about him and about your future relationship. Eyes open!!!”
The overwhelming majority, however, felt that this woman needs to kick her man to the curb. We’re inclined to agree. What do you think?
Izzy shows Stacy his lost and found in his apartment on ‘Love Is Blind’ and it shows how many different women have been to his place over the years.
Source: Netflix
The Gist:
Izzy and Stacy get engaged in Season 5 of Love Is Blind.
When Stacy visits Izzy’s apartment, she has some serious concerns about the way he lives.
Izzy has a drawer full of items from other women he has slept with over the years, called his “lost and found.”
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Spoiler warning: This article contains spoilers for Season 5 of Love Is Blind.
Some of Love Is Blind‘s contestants might think the worst is over when they leave the pods, meet their respective fiancés face-to-face, and begin the next part of their journeys. But that’s where the drama really gets started and Izzy and Stacy prove that in Season 5. Especially when Izzy shows Stacy his apartment for the first time and introduces her to his “lost and found.”
Source: Netflix
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It’s a drawer full of things that past hook-ups left behind in his home. Izzy does little to hide this part of his apartment. In fact, he is open about it to a fault and Stacy is not happy about the idea of her husband-to-be having such a crass way of describing and organizing other women’s belongings. Can you really blame her?
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Izzy actually has a lost and found in his apartment on ‘Love Is Blind.’
Izzy explains that he keeps earrings and other small items that women have left in his apartment in a drawer in the bathroom. It doesn’t look like the drawer is spilling over with items, but still. The fact that he has a lost and found for that sort of thing and calls it that is a major red flag for Stacy. She says as much and it’s clear that this is part of Izzy’s life that gives her the ick.
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Source: Netflix
It’s safe to say that the part of Izzy’s life that involves bringing women home for one night stands is over. However, Stacy just can’t fathom why he wouldn’t throw out these lost and found items before he left home to film in the Love Is Blind pods. It’s a fair question.
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‘Love Is Blind’ fans don’t see Izzy and Stacy working out.
The fact that Stacy is majorly turned off by Izzy’s lost and found on Love Is Blind just adds to the handful of reasons why some fans don’t see this pair working out long-term. One viewer tweeted that both Stacy and Izzy are “emotionally unavailable.” Another wrote that they don’t think Stacy is even ready to get engaged, let alone married.
And now that Stacy is seeing some red (or, at the very least, a mix of red and green) flags in Izzy, those fans could be right. Stacy has yet to say “I love you,” and she appears to be concerned about Izzy’s finances. Now, we have this side of him that no one expected. There’s just a lot going on and they haven’t even picked out wedding flowers yet.
Milton from ‘Love Is Blind’ may be young, but he’s dedicated to his career. He has several degrees to his name and is currently getting his MBA.
Source: netflix
The Gist:
Milton’s career as an engineer on Love Is Blind is really important to him.
He and his fianceé Lydia, who is a geologist, geeked out in the pods over their similar fields.
Milton graduated from college already making a six-figure salary, but recently decided to go back to school.
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Spoiler alert: This article contains spoilers for Season 5 of Love Is Blind.
When contestants on Love Is Blind start talking in the pods, it’s likely that one of the first questions that comes up is “What do you do for a living?” While it’s not often that contestants will bond over their jobs, Milton and Lydia from Season 5 really seemed to hit it off when it came to talking about their respective fields. While Lydia confirmed she is a geologist, what does Milton do for work? Here’s what we know.
Source: netflix
Milton (right) is seen here talking with ‘Love Is Blind’ contestant Chris Fox
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Milton was making a six-figure salary while filming ‘Love Is Blind,’ but has since went back to school.
Milton entered Love Is Blind at the age of 24. While he may have acted his age at times, he is actually very serious about his education and career.
Milton graduated from Quest Early College High School in 2016 and earned an associate’s degree in mathematics from Lone Star College the same year, per LinkedIn.
He then attended the University of Houston from 2016 to 2019, where he majored in petroleum and geotechnology. Milton then went on to get a master’s degree from the University of Texas at El Paso in 2020. In 2023, Milton also started pursuing an MBA at Rice University, which he expects to complete in 2025.
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At the time of filming Love Is Blind, Milton worked as a senior pipeline control center operator at EverLine. And as his roommate Josh confirmed in Episode 6, he was making a six-figure salary at the time.
But in Nov. 2022, Milton actually switched jobs. He now works as a management trainee at Vopak while also studying at Rice. It’s unclear if he is trying to pivot to a different career as he is pursuing his MBA, but his role at Vopak still falls within the oil and energy wheelhouse.
Clearly, he has a bright future ahead of him and appears to be serious about finding a partner who shares his values and goals. This may be why he decided to set his eyes on Lydia.
Milton from ‘Love Is Blind’ says he is nationally ranked in Pokémon Showdown, but his ELO ratings beg to differ. Is he really as good as he says?
Source: netflix
The Gist:
Milton is a contestant on Love Is Blind Season 5.
While he is in the pods, he connects with and proposes to Lydia.
He tells her that he plays Pokémon Showdown competitively and is nationally ranked, but a closer look at what appears to be his account suggests otherwise.
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Spoiler alert: This article contains spoilers for Season 5 of Love Is Blind.
One castmate from Season 5 of Love Is Blind who we can’t stop thinking about is Milton (real name James Milton Johnson IV).
Born in Honolulu Hawaii, but currently based in Houston, Texas, Milton entered the experiment when he was 24. He also entered the experiment while he was still allegedly in a relationship with another woman, but that’s a whole other story.
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Throughout his time on the show, we, as well as his fianceé Lydia Velez-Gonzalez have learned a lot about Milton. He’s an engineer, he’s had his fair share of medical issues, and he loves rocks. He also is really bad at identifying what a cooler is.
Milton also loves Pokémon. In fact, he claims he’s nationally ranked on Pokémon Showdown. But is that true?
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Source: netflix
Milton says he is nationally ranked on Pokémon Showdown, but we’re unable to find those stats.
In Episode 6, Milton takes Lydia back to his place where we meet his roommate Josh. Josh quickly brings up to Lydia that Milton is a Pokémon lover. He then adds, “You should see us on Pokémon Showdown.”
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Milton, clearly trying to impress his geology-loving woman, says to Josh “Hey, remember I told you we’re like nationally ranked? We’re both up there in national ranking.”
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Josh then tells Lydia that her man is actually banned in five countries on Pokémon Showdown, including U.S. servers. When Lydia asks why, Milton responds “you talk too much s–t, you get banned.” Yikes!
As for Milton being nationally ranked on Pokémon Showdown, we’re unable to find that information.
Assuming that Milton’s username is jamesmiltonj4 on Pokémon Showdown — which is the username he uses on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter — then he’s not actually the star player he made himself out to be. These are the stats we pulled up for user jamesmiltonj4, who has been a member since July 2017.
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Source: Pokemon Showdown / jamesmiltonj4
Per Smogon.com, ELO ratings start at 1000. And if you take a gander at Milton’s ELO ratings, his highest one is 1223. He is only rated just a little bit higher than the default rating. Most players don’t consider anything under 1600 isn’t a good ELO rating.
If Milton was nationally ranked, his ELO rating would likely be over 2000.
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That said, he may have performed better under a different username or peaked at a different time. But judging from these stats, we’re not too impressed with user jamesmiltonj4, if that does happen to be Milton’s account.
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